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I made a big messy mistake yesterday. A few weeks ago one of our cats decided that our down comforter would make a good litter box. It was too big to wash, and I didn't think even commercially cleaning it would make it fit to use (without the fear that the cats would come back for more.) It sat in my office until yesterday, when I finally got fed up with it.

My friend Eva recommended tossing it, or giving it away. "No sense trying to save it if you're never going to use it again anyway," she said. She was so right. I had decided the best thing to do was to cut off the offending piece, leaving a comforter that would be wide enough for a twin bed. Here's what I should have done: Sew a solid seam down one length of the comforter, several inches away from the stained section. Sew a second seam about an inch away from the first. Cut down the middle, vacuum up the few fluffs of down that would come out.

This isn't what I did.

Instead, I decided to explore the inside of the comforter and cut a big hole next to the stained section. Immediately feathers and down starting flying. I hadn't really thought about what would be inside, just assuming it would be big white feathers. Instead I was greeted by a puff of small downy bits, like someone had blown a fuzzy dandelion in the room. I learned that the squares where mostly separate, except for a couple of inches at either end. I would have to seam it shut. I got out my trusty sewing machine, heaved the comfortor onto my lap, and started sewing. Unfortunately the movement caused even more down to fly around, getting in the way of the needle and thread. My thread broke several times (because feathers were getting wrapped around it, clogging up the eye of the needle) and I broke a needle (with some mysterious jam that went away after I changed needles.)

I made my biggest mistake after I sewed the first seam. Instead of sewing a second seam (it didn't even occur to me) I decided to cut the comforter in two. Things got bad at this point. If you ever saw the I Love Lucy episode in which she re-upholsters Fred and Ethel's chair, you get the idea. Although I didn't have a fan on in the room, so most of the mess stayed on the floor. Wow. I wouldn't have thought such a volume of stuff could have come out of such a tiny bit of comforter.

Luckily we have a decent vacuum cleaner, which picked up most of the feathers and down after 30 minutes of running around after them. I would have taken pictures, but at the time it wasn't so amusing. There are still feathers on the stairs and the den, and some in the living room, and dining room, and kitchen. I picked off several bits of down from Trixie's chin last night (the cats were in the bedroom during the entire episode.) Gary picked lots of it from my hair before we went to bed. I had dreams about vacuuming feathers last night.

So now I have a twin sized down comforter in a large plastic bag, ready to go to a loving home. It was not worth the effort I put into it, especially considering we don't have a twin bed, and I don't want to have to deal with another feather for a long time. Next time (should there be a next time, which there had better not be) I will put the whole thing in a bag and send it to Goodwill with a polite note about it needing cleaning.

*play closing credit music*

Announcer: Miss Griffin's wardrobe provided by Grinnell College Bookstore. All celebrity voices were impersonated. No animals were harmed in the making of this episode. This has been a Dreamspire Production!

Posted by Jen at August 22, 2003 08:06 AM